Four high level psychological knowledge

3. When people’s own ideas are perceived, they will deliberately cover up with the opposite performance

I believe that many people have seen this. In the early age of love, a boy may have a feeling of love towards a girl around, but due to a variety of reasons most people would hide the feelings deeply in the bottom of heart, and finally silently focus on the other person.

However, once the crush is discovered, the boy will try his best to clear up his "grievance" by claiming that he does not like the girl.

This is a kind of "self-protection mechanism" of the individual. The purpose is to protect something in their mind that they think is private from the outside world, to achieve a self-relieving effect and reduce their inner anxiety.

Saying or doing the opposite of what you think you are doing is trying to deal with the anxiety, to indicate that you are not what you think you are.

Similar behaviours also involve the diversion of one's inner anxiety.

For example, a person suffered a lot of blows outside and felt extremely unhappy. When he came back home, he would often look for opportunities to release his inner anger. Therefore, conflicts would often break out between husband and wife after their husband or wife came home from work because of some minor matters, resulting in domestic violence.

It is because they are more "tolerant" to the outside world, and they do not want to conflict with strangers, they can only quarrel with their own wives, and eventually domestic violence happens.

For us, when we feel internal emotional fluctuations, such as feelings of grievance, unhappiness, anger, etc., we need to learn to channel them into positive actions, otherwise the anger will "hurt the innocent".